Phoenix Phall Phunfest at Knoebels - October 9, 2010

77 photos HERE at Flickr.




My first and until this point only trip to Knoebels was in 2004. At that point it was one of the most hyped up parks I had ever been to, and it lived up to every bit of it, immediately becoming my favorite park. Six years later I made my return for Phoenix Phall Phunfest, an event that I had been hearing about for over a decade. In my mind there are really two must-do annual events in the amusement park world: Holiday World's Stark Raven Mad (now Holiwood Nights), and Phoenix Phall Phunfest. I attended Stark Raven Mad in 2002 and Holiwood Nights in 2006, but year after year PPP eluded me. For a while I decided I would make my next trip to Knoebels after Flying Turns opened, but several years of waiting with no luck, combined with a move to 3 hours away in New Jersey tossed that policy out the window.



PPP coincides with the Covered Bridge Festival, which draws massive amounts of people for a huge food and crafts fair. The outer reaches of the grass parking lot were already beginning to fill up in the morning.



While I am tempted to say PPP would be better if it was not held on the same weekend as the festival, there are certain perks, such as deliciously lethal food items.



The Flying Turns sits... Having seen the release of Chinese Democracy and Duke Nukem Forever, I am convinced that even the Flying Turns may one day carry riders.



PPP is the inverse of all other events in that the best time to get a lot of rides in is actually during the day. The event at night brings lines for all of the rides, but during the day most things are a walk on. I started the day off with a ride on Twister simply because it is the first thing I came to. I still have no idea quite how the layout of this park works.



Twister is a pretty coaster and fun, but like when I visited in 2004, I found it to be nothing special. Worth a few rides for sure, but overshadowed by its neighbor across the park...



Phoenix may be the most deceptively simple looking coaster of all time.



Nothing about Phoenix screams top 10 ride, but it was my number one coaster when I rode it in 2004, and after several years of being bumped out of the picture by newer and more hyped rides, it was back in firmly as my second favorite coaster behind Voyage by the end of the night.



2011 should bring a fantastic addition to Knoebels with the old Morey's Piers Golden Nugget going in.



One of the things that really makes Knoebels special is their ability to take a very common ride and put it a notch above everything else out there. The legendary Knoebels Haunted Mansion is no exception, as it is completely crammed with effects and repeatedly gets named one of the top dark rides in the world.



I found that next year may require a rethinking of strategy, as my wristband was used only a couple of times during the day Saturday. The Covered Bridge Festival ate up more time than expected, and may make it worth it to spend two days at the park (plus it was disappointing having to leave the bonfire early to drive home).



These pierogis were one of the many items that I stuffed myself with during the day. Even if the festival isn't going on, Knoebels is well known for having decent food for absurdly cheap (for amusement parks) prices.



This is why the rides have no lines.



Remember that cheesecake on a stick from earlier? Well, so did I.



Then, of course, Penn State Creamery ice cream is a requirement.



One thing that has always amused me is that the iconic sign, which was once the entrance to the park, is now almost the dead center of it.



I didn't even do a fraction of the things I had wanted to despite having a very long day at Knoebels. There is a stunning amount of things packed into the park for a place that is family owned and in the middle of nowhere.



A quick tour of some of the craft stalls revealed what was by far the best vendor.



The consumption of grease continues.



Birch beer is a definite requirement at Knoebels (apparently there is a blue kind?!?).



Some day...



I noticed some clever Halloween props.



As with the Haunted Mansion, even the carousel here is a significant step up from anywhere else in the country. Few parks can really say that their carousel is a must do on every visit.



In addition to simply being a fine piece of craftwork that runs fairly quick, the Knoebels carousel is the last one to my knowledge in the United States where riders on outside horses can still grab rings from a dispenser as they go by (catch the brass ring and get a free re-ride).



Just one of the many things that set Knoebels apart from the pack.



Next up on that list, it's the ride that you never go out of your way to do... except at Knoebels. The bumper cars from hell.



Best dark ride, best carousel, best bumper cars. So violent it's almost like being in an actual car accident.



For all I know this is not a costume and was actually sustained on the bumper cars.



Once night falls, the miniature train ride around the park gets the haunted treatment.



The magic really begins now.



I can think of quite a few parks where this sort of humor would not go over that well, but thankfully Knoebels is not one of them.



The costume contest (or parade of freaks as I heard it referenced more than once, and not necessarily referring to the costumes) is an annual tradition.



The real highlight of the event, however, is its namesake. I found it impossible to tear myself away from Phoenix, so much so that I stayed there while others went off to ride the haunted antique cars ride, and so much so that I only ended up riding the flying scooters a single time at the end of the night.



Phoenix is about as close to the word classic as you can get. Fixed position lap bars, skid brakes, a tunneled turn to the lift hill, and then a tradition double out and back layout that is kept in immaculate condition. There have been many innovations in the coaster world over the last several decades, and the envelope continues to get pushed further and further. Even wooden coasters have taken some extreme forms with recent creations from Intamin and The Gravity Group. Phoenix, however, goes straight back to the heart of it all. It's what this madness is all about for me, and perhaps the embodiment of why I've spent so much time and money traveling around to ride coasters and things like posting on forums and writing articles for this site. At night time, during Phall Phunfest, with the mist from the fog machines settling over the ride, the Phoenix is perfection. There is no parallel to the air time experienced on each and every hill, thanks in large part to the fixed position lap bars which allow for floating in mid air for what feels like an eternity on each one. Furthermore, it exemplifies the perfect execution of continuously increasing pace all the way up until the final brakes. The final series of bunny hills might just be my favorite portion of any ride.



Costumed riding is of course encouraged during PPP.



My favorite of the night.



It would be a major crime to visit Knoebels and not ride the flying scooters, and fortunately I made it in for the last ride of the night.



I'm not gonna lie, these things scare the hell out of me. While the Carowinds (former Kings Island) version has just as much potential for violent snapping, it seems much more controlled and predictable. With the Knoebels version, on the other hand, I feel that at any moment I could go crashing into the woods (not necessarily an unfounded fear but that is for another story). Riding with a group of coaster nuts (many of whom spend most if not all of the event at the flyers) makes it all that more insane. It was a perfect last ride of the night.



PPP is not an event about marathon riding. There are many better times to go to Knoebels for repeated riding, but like Holiwood Nights (and Stark Raven Mad before it), it is just as much a social event. I have been fortunate enough to meet a lot of great people in this hobby, many of whom live in other parts of the country and world. PPP is an annual pilgrimage for a lot of people, and one of the great things about it is getting to see old friends (and meet new ones).



The night traditionally ends with a bonfire in the campgrounds of terrifyingly insane proportions. I had to hit the road before Dick Knoebel arrived to give his usual talk, but it was almost enough to tempt me to consider camping next year. Either way, I can't wait to get back.

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